Monday, November 11, 2013

I am about to Mentally Explode (Warning: Rant)

   So I didn't get up this morning and go for my run, I just felt blah and crap..... figured I could text my mom and ask her if she'd be willing to watch Dorian in the afternoon 3 so I could go for my run with Rocky. She said she would be watching my sister's kids until said sister gets home around 3:30 or 3:45, so I say okay can you watch him at 4 or after you leave there. She says probably, so I get happy and have been stoked all day as I've been feeling better and more ready for my run. I get dressed at the office around 3:30, expecting her to be here around 4 or just before so I try to make sure Dorian is happy and as content as he can be with his sinuses and teething. Instead I get a call from my mom asking if I want to go to Denny's with her and my sister and her kids (one of whom is sick) and then go run, I say no because it is going to be dark soon and I didn't bring my headlamp. Then acting as if I am being the unreasonable one (through her sighs), she asked why not skip the run and just go eat (mouth drops open). First off there is no explaining to a person who doesn't run or make running, or make exercising a part of their life.... you just can't make them understand. I tried, telling her I had been looking forward to this all day, that I've been cooped up in an office ALL day with my sanity being tested by Dorian's sinuses or teething and I was really looking forward to my run. Another sigh as if I am being unreasonable,  and a "missing one day is going to kill you", blah blah blah - I didn't just smash my goal PR at the Indianapolis Monumental Half by making excuses and skipping runs (unless I seriously wasn't feeling well), it is beyond frustrating to try and explain to someone what my goals are, why it is difficult to skip my runs when I feeling perfectly healthy and fine.
     I just want to scream at everyone right now, nobody understands and even worse some think it's funny how I am feeling. Tomorrow morning could be snowing, which isn't bad but if it isn't cold enough then it will be rain and I can never know how Dorian will be feeling in the mornings. I can honestly think I am going to be able to run tomorrow morning, and I am just about ready to say screw it on asking my mom to watch him anymore. I need to go home and take a few shots of Red Stag.

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