Missed Another Run

  I can already see where shit is going, now that Cameron has a Kindle thanks to Preston buying it for his birthday. As soon as he gets home, he's going to be on that all night, either that or his phone and not want to hold Dorian for any long than 10-25 minutes unless he just so happens to be asleep. I missed another run last night, mainly because it was lightning outside and Cameron didn't want me out there running in that but when it finally stopped around midnight, he didn't want me going out that late either. He wanted to go ahead to bed since him and Ethan were getting up at 6 the next morning, so I couldn't go out and run.
  I am having mom come to the house tonight, I really need to run but I am not going to wait until Dorian is finally calm enough for Cameron to want to hold him because that might not be until midnight as usual and now Cameron doesn't want me running that late. I felt myself losing ounces of sanity last night while trying to fall asleep, I wanted so badly to go into the living and just start doing lunges, squats, plank position, push ups, dumb bell curls, k-bell swings and even running up and down the flight of stairs on our porch just to feel like I did something. I ate a glazed donut yesterday, figuring I'd be running later that night, I even ate a piece of Cameron's DQ Oreo Ice Cream cake thinking I'd be running later that night..... I wanted to go into the bathroom and gag myself to puke it all back up. 
  As long as I run, I don't feel so bad looking in the mirror... but after yesterday when I took my post-pregnancy pictures and compared them to a month ago.... I noticed some extra fat muffin topping it over the top of my bikini bottom and right under my arm pit it was muffin topping over my bikini top line, that part I'd like to think was because my boobies were filling up with milk. I still weigh the same as a month ago, 150 lbs but I feel so frustrated. On www.myfitnesspal.com I've decreased my calories from 2490 to 2100 and still feel like it is too much right now, I mean my milk supply is fine, it hasn't increased for about a month or more so the only place this food is really going to is on me :(.
  I am trying my damnedest to ignore these feelings, keep telling myself I just had a baby and it will take a while before I will even get close to what I was before. Here is a couple photos from yesterday, 3 months and 6 days post -pregnant. 

 These were taken 07-19-2012 compared to ones taken 

06-05-2012.

Okay, I could have sworn I had gotten bigger but now looking at them they seem the same so I guess I haven't gotten bigger, but I haven't slimmed down either.... I guess I should be somewhat happy.